"Ian thought a question was a way to find out who was above him and who was below him. The fire taught him it was a way to find out who was beside him." - Ken Woodward
"Ian thought a question was a way to find out who was above him and who was below him. The fire taught him it was a way to find out who was beside him." - Ken Woodward
Ian told me he had gotten better at asking questions, and then said the thing that caught my attention. He used to be afraid to ask. Partially fear of looking nosy. Mostly afraid that asking one question,would open him up to being asked one back. I knew that fear from the inside, so the two of us got on a call to dig in.
This episode follows what we found. The scarcity in the house that raised him, and how a stretched mind cannot afford a question. The old wiring that treats being pushed out of the group as a threat to survival. Why his fear was not timidity but an accurate read of how people actually work. And the small weekly circle, built on one plain question, that changed the physics until the thing he feared was simply no longer true.
With a debt to Brian Fretwell and Finding Good, a nod to Seth Godin and Polly Wiessner, and a question at the end I do not have the answer to.
This Curated Questions episode can be found on all major platforms and at CuratedQuestions.com.
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Keep questioning!
Episode Notes
00:00 Questions Build Trust
00:44 Dispatch And Subscribe
01:18 Welcome To The Show
02:02 The Sentence That Started It
03:09 Meet Ian And The Theme
03:53 Home And The Wall
04:42 Scarcity Mindset Explained
05:29 Why Questions Feel Costly
07:11 Belonging And Pain Wiring
08:54 Two Reflection Prompts
09:41 Fear One Intruding
10:45 Fear Two Reciprocity
12:15 Status Ladders And Loneliness
13:07 Protecting Place But Staying Unknown
14:44 One Question To Sit With
15:01 Build A Safer Room
16:23 What Went Well Circle
16:57 Three Ways The Room Helps
18:49 What Is The Least Bad Thing?
20:56 Back To The Campfire
23:10 Asking The Follow Up
26:39 Ian Was Right All Along
27:55 Host Steps Out Personally
30:05 If The Room Is Unsafe
31:09 Outro And Ways To Engage